I lost my job and the freaking Gators threw away the game in the Elite Eight. Gotta dwell on that for a minute. We were playing badly and still beating Butler. We let them back in the game, got frustrated about it and BLEW IT. Blew the last second shot with some off-balanced crap and handed them overtime. I cried. In the middle of the bar. Then I proceeded to embarrass my sweet friends by threatening to lecture every person in said bar who wasn't crying about being a real fan. Thankfully, I was
Anyway, it is time to buck up.
I've compiled a list of happy things going on in my life and the rest of the world. Step back from the ledge and enjoy.
- Lean Pockets. I just discovered these. Besides the occasional one I used to drunkenly steal from Cody when we were roommates, they just weren't on my grocery list. But now, I'm borderline obsessed. I am accepting suggestions on which varieties I should buy. I can't just blindly buy them anymore, I ain't got no job.
- The Man Repeller. My favorite blog. The MR highlights the elements of fashion that will scare the hard-on out of even the hardest man. The definition of a "man repeller":
outfitting oneself in a sartorially offensive way that will result in repelling members of the opposite sex. Such garments include but are not limited to harem pants, boyfriend jeans, overalls (see: human repelling), shoulder pads, full length jumpsuits, jewelry that resembles violent weaponry and clogs.
I am proud to say I have worked to become more man-repelling myself. Top knots, red lips, everything leopard. I had to force myself with the leopard thing...
But seriously, look at these sick leopard nails.
- Jesus M. Christ. If you're on Twitter, you have to follow Jesus. He is the funniest, most irreverent son of God on the whole internet. Some of my favorite tweets:
Left a door open this morning & Dad says "Were you born in a barn?!" & I say "Yes, as a matter of fact, I fucking was!" Dick.
Eating Cadbury Eggs around Easter make my crucifixion worth it.
I was born to a single mother, had a posse and was murdered. Are you guys REALLY surprised to find out that I was black?!
Remember, everyone: Halloween is a pagan holiday, and as true Christians, you should... LOL JK go get drunk and eat candy.
It's pretty nice being all-knowing. I never forget my mom's birthday, September 8th--OH MY DAD THAT'S TODAY
If you don’t to follow Jesus in real life, the least you can do is follow me on Twitter.
Nobody fucks with Jesus.
- Tangled. This movie comes out on DVD today. It is a must see. I laughed, I cried, I FREAKING LOVED IT. Here is my favorite song from the movie, featuring everyone's
leastfavorite Romano brother. Sidenote: Another song from the movie was nominated for an Oscar and lost to Randy You-Got-A-Friend-In-Me Newman. I hate Randy Newman's voice. My dad likes to torture me with his music. And he sings a song about how short people should kill themselves.
Are you feeling happier yet?